It’s not uncommon for people to keep pets as companions and members of the family, but when someone’s pet dies, it can sometimes be hard to know what to say and do. That’s especially true if you’re dealing with grieving pet owners who have lost their faithful dog or cuddly cat. Here are some suggestions on what to say and how to support someone who’s lost a pet.
People respond differently to death
This is such a tough topic to address. One of the first things I always say when someone tells me their pet died is, I’m so sorry. It feels too stiff to follow it up with anything else, and that might be one of the only words we can find. The truth is that you don’t know what to say or what the appropriate response is for these situations. Everyone deals with death differently, and people need their time to grieve in their own way. It may be difficult for us not just because we want to be there for them, but also because we want someone else to take this pain away from us as well.
I’m sorry for your loss
While some may hesitate to bring up the topic, it is important to be sensitive when someone has just lost their pet. Let them know that you are thinking about them and their loss and that you’re here for support if they need anything. Reassure them that the love they shared with their pet will always be a part of who they are. Encourage the grieving person to take some time off of work or school to take care of themselves. Maybe offer a listening ear and an open heart for them to share anything on their mind about the recent passing of their pet, but also respect what level of disclosure they’re comfortable with.
Offer a shoulder
Is there anything I can do to help? is always a fine question to ask, but don’t get caught up on the idea that you have to fix everything. Simply offering your support and listening to someone share their feelings is often enough. Share a memory of the pet, talk about how much they loved the pet, or just hug them if you feel comfortable doing so. And if the person needs company, offer to stay for a little while and help by keeping them company with small talk, such as asking about what else is going on in their life.
Listen before offering comfort
It can be hard to know what to say when someone loses a pet, especially because there are many different circumstances. Just like with any other death, the pain can feel unbearable and make it difficult to interact normally with others. Here are some things you might want to say when you find out that someone has lost their pet:
- It sounds like it was tough for you.
- I’m sorry for your loss.
- I don’t know what to say, but here’s a hug.
- I’m so sorry this happened. My thoughts are with you.
Ask what you can do next
Just like a person, the death of a pet is an extremely difficult experience. As their caregiver, it is natural to want to be there for them during this time and provide support. Below are a few ways you can help someone who has lost their pet:
- Remember that it is okay to let them take space to grieve privately.
- Consider taking care of them through your actions rather than with words. Letting them know that you’re willing to provide meals for the day or watch their kids while they visit the veterinarian will show that you care about their well-being and are ready to offer any assistance possible.
- Tell them how much you enjoyed spending time with their pet if you had the chance.
- Provide emotional support. If the person is open to talking about what happened then just listening may be enough. It might also be a good idea to ask if they need anything from the store before departing so that when it comes time for dinner you’ll have something on hand for when you come back home from work later in the evening.
We’ve all experienced a pet dying at some point in our lives. It’s not something any of us hope to have happen, but the reality is that it does and we have to be prepared for it when the time comes. First, offer your condolences and try to understand where they are coming from with their feelings on the topic. Secondly, remind them of how special pets are and what they mean to people.